Dark rooom

Just pretend to be dead on your bed in a dark silent room for a couple of hours. Soon, you will observe  yourself  as an actor with a number of roles. Each role has its own unique requirements which your body have to fulfill. Sometimes you have to smile, sometimes you have to be sad, doesn't matter if you want it to be or not .  it's the requirement of the role that you have to fulfill. 

That's how we spend our lives between our family and friends. The more you sacrifice yourself the more will be demanded, it's a non ending circle of your life. But the problem is that slowly we  start loosing our own personality. The people don't want the real self of you. They don't love you  because they are clever. They just want you to be a good actor with no desires and personal likes and dislikes.

They want a machine who look like a human. They will accept nothing from you  not even your choice but they will give you orders and they want their each order to be respected and fulfilled. Even if you have to crush your own personality and desires.

People are only concerned with their own desires and choices.But nothing can make people happy, even if you do your best, at the end you will be discarded and thrown out in rubbish like an old and useless machine.

Being real is the hardest part of  your life, no one will believe you and no one will care about you at any instant of your life. Being a real human has a big price to be paid.

 

While reading the autobiographies of some most famous comedians i found out that they all were not really happy in their lives, because they crushed their own desires to make the people laugh.

Now the biggest tragedy of our time is that nothing real is happening around us. Our standards aren't real. Infact we don't want real people around us because we are afraid of realities. We are just running for meaningless struggles. 

I am very disappointed by my generation because Love has lost its feelings in this world, real love is rare to find. It's a fact that our generation has no idea about love.  we are just pretending to be loved. 

I am an old schooled lover with such ideas of love that are not present today. I will be 27 years old in next month, and i consider  myself  failed. Time is up , i am a mad man looking for a thing which doesn't exist.

Now this is the world  of lust. And i  will definitely not survive through this time. There are only two choices, to be like the rest of the world or to be real. I will prefer to be real even if I fail. Maybe i will not have love in my life but i will surely have alot of memories to cherish my loneliness.

18 June 2021

-A